On My Way

Done!

2010-09-08T19:31:00.001-07:00

there are 9 banker boxes of books in my living room ready to take to the church's used book sale this weekend. i didn't count all the books, but i KNOW i'm over the 50 mark because everyone of the boxes is full.

so there it is... shedding 50 things before my 50th birthday. DONE!

the greatest part is that i think i've found a partner in getting the shedding done. i have a friend who is looking to get rid of some things to make more room in her life also. she and i have agreed on an experiment. we will trade time each week at each other's home. 3 hours at my house this week and 3 hours at her house next week and so on. it's a risk to air one's dirty laundry (junk) but she's a good friend and we're after the same end. today was the first day of the experiement and i'm happy to say "day one" was a success. let the shedding continue!

Shedding...some chaos...#29 - #35

2010-06-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

we have 3 kids. one still at home, one in her last year of undergrad, and one who recently graduated from college. this means that our home is grand central station in may and august. kids with boxes and stuff that they need and don't need in various places in our home = chaos. solution = one room a piece with ALL your stuff. no more a box in the family room and some stuff in the furnace room. if you can't fit it all in and still have room to sleep when you come home... there might be a message in there some where... so that is #29 and #30. to my fledglings...i love you! you are always welcome! never treat people like things, or things like people!

cleaned out my clothes closet. lots of t-shirts i don't wear anymore, socks, old bras, and odds and ends that haven't made their appearance on my body in a long time. i didn't count them all. i know there were far more than 5, but let's just call it 5 instead of me spending time counting socks!

Good-bye Alice....

2010-05-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Alice is my recumbent bike. i got her about three years ago at the insistence of my hubby. he had just re-discovered the joys of biking and wanted to share that with me. problem: due to health problems my right leg would go to sleep after 10 minutes of riding a "normal" bike. solution: Alice, my recumbent bike. it took some getting used to riding a recumbent. i never felt comfortable riding her on the road (too low) and it was real work to ride her up steep hills (something to do with the wheel base and the tire size). i also never got used to people staring or pointing at me as i rode by (not a lot of recumbent bikes here). but overall it was wonderful to be able to ride with my hubby and kids. we even "double dated" with my hubby and his bike at a bed and breakfast on some beautiful bike trails in Minnesota for hubby's 50th last summer.

My health has improved bit by bit by bit due to the surgery i had last september, exercise, and slowly learning to hear and respect what my body is saying to me. this spring i decided to try out my old upright bike. to my utter amazement i could ride without my leg going to sleep. after the second time i took out the bike (just to be sure the 1st time wasn't a fluke) my husband took me to his favorite bike shop to get fitted for a new bike. he said it was for him, because he wanted me to have a better bike so i could "keep up with him". i had my doubts but the guys at the shop assured me that it's kind of a drag to ride with someone that rides slower than you do, especially when you are doing long distance road riding. so before i really knew what was happening i was trying out bikes and found one i really liked and hubby insisted that we buy it "for him". i'm happy to report that after a bit of tweaking the saddle and the handle bars i was able to ride a 25 mile road ride and be appropriately tired the next day instead of "paying for my fun". it feels SO GOOD! like finding an old friend that you had lost contact with and thought you would never see again. and when you sit down to visit again you remember just how good this person is for your life.

so Alice, i guess you are #28. Thanks ever so much for the ride! you introduced me to Gunnar, my new "old friend". happy trails to the three of us!

27

2010-03-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

i'm not much of a risk taker...never have been. but right now, in a specific situation, that is getting in my way of moving forward. i'm acting like the past will repeat itself. it's causing me to missing out on the present and freak out about the future. really not very useful stratagies for living a happy life. so... i'm shedding the fear. 8 seconds in the saddle is better than a life time in the stands. let 'er rip!

26

2010-01-28T14:33:00.001-08:00

shed all the mess in a downstairs closet. it's organized and ALL in boxes. whatever doesn't fit into the boxes doesn't fit into my life! gone.

i'm shedding more....

2010-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

two boxes of books, tapes, and CD's that represent two unhealthy and unsuccessful pursuits over a lot of years.... 39 books, tapes, and CDs for one and a dozen books for the other. guess what i'm really shedding is the unhealthy and unsuccessful pursuits and that makes two more... (not 51... shoot then i'd be done for the year) Total = 25

i'm up to 23!

2010-01-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my son helped me shed 10 puzzles and 8 board games out of a closet. Yippee! i was beginning to wonder if i was ever going to start gaining on my "Shed 50 things by 50" goal.

However, i'm not doing so hot on the weight side of things. time to start again with that. i think i could use some reading material to help get me going. Any good books out there that could give me insight into why i sabatoge things? i know what to do.... i just don't know why i don't do what i know how to do! ideas, please...

It's time to start shedding again....

2010-01-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

#5 I have a relationship in my life that i have spent and spend tons of time on. the problem is that the "tons of time" hasn't seemed to progress the relationship into what i had hoped it would become. it's not horrible, it just doesn't live up to the potential i see in it or the dreams i had for it. i have become aware of just how much time and energy (and sleepless nights) i have put into this. what could the rest of my life be like if i took that time and energy and put it into something else? for instance, this morning i spent time and energy reading blogs, articles, and looking for books related to this relationship.... understanding it, improving it, etc... you get the picture. well, by the time i looked at the clock the morning was gone and i had eaten up the time i had set aside to exercise and get organized for the week and work on a my spanish lesson. the relationship is too important to bag, but the rest of my life is too important to be ignored. so... ONE TIME PER WEEK i will discuss it, explore it, try to think of ways to improve it, read books/blogs/articles about it, etc. i am shedding my obsession with this relationship. #3. get rid of undesirable - to get rid of something that is unwanted or unnecessary

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T16:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving. wow... what a wonderful few days...the celebration of our 25th wedding anniversary, our college kids home for the break and some wonderful memories made by the 5 of us in regards to the previous two items. life is good.

also, two more victories to report on the "shedding" process.

3.i shed an unfinished project. more than a year ago we did some remodeling that involved new windows in our living room. as a result the valences that i had previously made no longer fit. as of 11/25/09 the new valences that i made for our living room were finished and hung. #2. cast off

4. i shed another unfinished project. in the spring of 2008 my son asked me to mend a small spot on a shirt he had bought on his travels in Bolivia so it wouldn't fray when he washed it. with a gentle reminder from him over Thanksgiving break, it is now repaired and back in his closet ready to wear. #2. cast off

Shedding

2009-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

i will turn 50 in 10 months. i have been thinking about that a lot since my 49th birthday in September. i've talked with friends who have set various goals before they turn 50 or the year after they turn 50. one decided that before she turned 50 she would do 50 things she had never done before. me... i think i am going to make it a goal to shed 50 things. there is something about making my life simpler that is just very appealing to me. maybe it was seeing my mom spend two summers and much anxiety over emptying out her home of "things" before she sold the house and the freedom she seems to have without that weight on her now. maybe it is my former neighbor who "couldn't move to st louis to live near her son" though she wanted to because "what would i do with my house and all my things." maybe it is because i spend a lot of my time managing things, when i really enjoy people. maybe it is because is see people i love with two houses full of more things than they could ever use and other people with dirt floors and hungry bellies. maybe it is because life is short and none of the things are going with me, only the relationships with those i love will last into eternity.

the idea started to gel after i ran across a website called www.throwoutfiftythings.com i am a saver by nature , so to just "throw out" things seems a little extreme. after some pondering and exploring i decided that "shedding" is a better term for what i have begun to do.
shed:(verb)
#1. radiate something - to radiate or disperse something, especially light
#2. cast off - to cast off a growing part such as leaves as a result of a natural process
#3. get rid of undesirable - to get rid of something that is unwanted or unnecessary
#4. repel or be repelled - to flow off or drop off, or cause something such as water to flow off or drop off

some things will be tossed (#3), some things will be recycled (#2) (like the leaves that are shed are recycled into into compost), some things will be left unclaimed by me (#4), some things will be given away (#1), and of course i'm sure you've guessed by now that all the things i'm shedding won't necessarily be things. :)

So now i begin:
1. i shed the need to do it "right". Immediately upon the idea gelling, i thought "i need to buy the book so i can be sure to do it 'right'." well, i didn't buy the book and i'm not going to buy the book. i don't need to read the book to do this. i can make this be mine and make it work for me without it having to be done "perfectly and 'by the book'". sometimes "perfect and 'by the book'" is essential in life and sometimes it isn't. #4. repel or be repelled

2.i shed over 400 e-mails that had piled up in my inbox #1. i have two e-mail addresses. there were e-mails in there from... well, let's just say they were really old. they are gone now. no more than 50 in there from now on. i'll ask my hubby to use my other e-mail as it's filing system is easier for me to use. #3. get rid of undesirable

Sound Tracks & Miracles

2009-10-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

it's been a good week. hubby got my bike set up over the weekend, so yesterday i spent 10 minutes on it. i will today also. it's a recumbant bike, so wasn't sure how my tummy would feel about the position post surgery, but it went well. i can definately tell i haven't done anything aerobic for quite some time. it is a start and that is good. i have been logging my food also. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were very telling as to why the scale says what it says. yesterday and today have been under the calorie limit that i've set. score one more for our team!

last week i stopped by hanlie's blog and she talked about changing her sound track... her self talk. i've been thinking about that all week. i think my new sound track is this - don't tell God how big your mountain is, tell the mountain how big your God is. i don't mind saying that i need help in my life - God in my life. a bout with depression at one point in time served me up enough humble pie that i can eat it when i need to now. (i still don't much like the taste, but know it is healthy for me... kinda like brussel sprouts!) so... instead of whining about how hard it is, and what my excuses are, and yadda, yadda, yadda... i think it will be much more helpful to say things like.... "Gluttony, you've been asked to leave." ..."Excuses, you are poorly disguised lies."

Speaking of God... you know my friend who i asked you all to pray for... the one who's husband was dying. well, they got a miracle. his blood counts started going back up. he's off all antibiotics now. they are looking at being able to restart the chemo to fight the cancer. about two weeks ago the doctors gave him 1 1/2 weeks left on this earth. So, if you are inclined, say a "thank you!" on behalf of my friend, Kerry, and her husband and their three little girls. the fourth healing miracle i've witnessed in my life.

how about you? witnessed any miracles???

Which way am i going????

2009-10-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

i need to get all of me pointed in the same direction. i've been doing well with the core exercises. doing well with the once a week weigh in. not so well with the walking. not so well with the eating. so... if i want this to work, then it all has to work together. why would i be faithful about the core exercises and then not follow thru with the rest? there's the question of the day! it's like sitting on a stool with only one leg instead of four. Not gonna' make a lot of progress quickly. So.... back to the basics.
1. Keep doing the core exercises!
2. Keep doing the once a week weigh ins
3. Ask hubby to set up my bike indoors... my back seems to bother more when i walk
4. Start NOW with recording my food intake on FitDay

what a week....

2009-10-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

i didn't do so well on the exercise part. i came down with a terrible headcold on Thursday. sneezing was not fun after abdominal surgery. i used a lot of drugs to fight off the symptoms... something i don't usually do. the timing was just bad. i really laid low in an effort to get over it and not have it move into my lungs and deal with coughing. i'm better now. back to taking naps during the day again because i get so wiped out with any little thing. but, that is where i'm at and pretending i'm somewhere else won't do me or my body much good. as Cammie says... i need to be where my butt is!... or something similar. :) so i felt good enough today to walk and that's good enough!
Oh, i don't know who out there believes in the power of prayer, but i have a friend named Kerry who's husband is dying. they have three little girls. the youngest is in kindergarten. Such a beautiful family! if you would say a prayer for their family, i would greatly appreciate it. thanks!

here's the latest...

2009-10-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

if there's still anyone reading this.... i've been gone a long time. it was a summer of ups and downs, doctor visits and one heated discussion with our insurance company. but after two doctors concurred that a hysterectomy would help with my back/hip/pelvic pain we decided to go for it. i had the surgery about 4 weeks ago. everything went very well. i had two great nurses in the hospital. one is a master gardener. the other has children the same ages as ours. our youngest was amazed that i could talk flowers and find fellow members of the "Mom Mafia" in my pain med induced fog. Guess i'm just amazing like that when it's something i've got a bit of passion for. :)
i am doing well... still on lifting restrictions and still get worn out fast, but i'm getting there. WONDERFUL is too mild a word to use when i think about how my hubby and son have pitched in to take up the slack and look out for me. it has been humbling!
i've been doing a few mild core exercises. now i need to work into the aerobic part of it. my goal is to
1. continue to do the core exercises each day
2. walk 20 minutes on the tread mill each day... nice and slow.

HYC check in

2009-06-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

the scale said 166 this am. had a great weekend for exercising. hubby and i went to stay at a B&B to celebrate his upcoming birthday. (the weekend was my birthday gift to him) it just so happens that the B&B is at the site of an old train depot and the old train tracks have been turned into a bike path. we did 28 miles the first day and 10 the second. i did ok. i was surprised as it is the first time i have been on my bike this year. the trails were really flat so that helped A LOT.

so... i think i have the exercise part moving again (pun intended) and obviously i'm writing so the accountability part is stepped up a notch. the next step... logging my food intake. after i stop by to visit you i'll pull up by FitDay program and start writing it down.... the good, the bad, and the ugly. :)

It's a start...

2009-06-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

did 20 minutes on the treadmill at about 3 mph. was sore while i was doing it, but i did it. a bit at a time and i will get back to where i was!
stopped at the pantry after a growl fest with my son over chores and attitude. reminded myself that i was FRUSTRATED not hungry. didn't eat anything.
Score 2 for me! :)
....wonder how many points i could end up with in a day????

HYC Update

2009-06-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

i got on the scale this am and it said 167. i haven't weighed that much in a long time.
Exercise is what i'm missing most. i need to get back on the treadmill or the bike on a regular basis. i may not be able to jog on the treadmill, but my back/hip are straightened around enought to walk at least. i REALLY don't want to go back to grunting to tie my shoes and buy new clothes and not be able to wear my wedding ring. So... after i finish this post and check in at HYC and pick up my son from swim practice, i'm on the treadmill.
Accountability is what i'm missing second. i need to start checking in with all of you instead of "going solo". So... be watching for those pink squares that say i exercised. be watching for my weekly updates with HYC.
i don't know what the future will hold for me as far as my health is concerned. i do know that a healthy weight will be helpful for me no matter what comes. In the words of Patrick A... "Operate from a position of strength!"

Looking for answers....

2009-06-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time. so much has happened since i last updated. i have gained back a few pounds. nothing that can't be undone. my health has stabilized a bit, so now would be a good time to get after it again. i'm continuing to try to sort out the right hip/back/stomach pain issue. feel like i've recently been given some health professionals in my life that are taking it seriously and looking for answers with me. THAT is a real blessing! i have more tests toward the end of the month, so will know more after that. in the mean time, i keep on keeping on... :)
Had hoped to stop by and visit you all yet tonight, but i think i would be wiser to get some sleep. it will have to wait for another day. thanks for understanding.

Rocks in the road

2009-04-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

wow... it's been over a month. what a month it has been. exercise has been ugly due to my right back/hip/abdomen issues. tried with my sacral belt. ended up with a blister. so couldn't wear the belt for awhile. don't want to take pain meds cuz i'm trying to wean myself off the heartburn meds. that was the song for about the last month... however.... the last three days have been much better. i haven't started on the treadmill again, but went walking with hubby with no increase in pain as a result. was able to get out and garden abit without "paying" for that too. (it was wonderful to play in the dirt!) i have been successfully weaning the heartburn meds down and i am in the process of getting my medical records together to have a different physician reveiw them. so...there have been a lot of rocks in the road lately. i've been maintaining and for me, right now, that is success. there's a light at the end of the tunnel and i've got my eye on it! one step at a time....

now, i'm off to visit all of you. thanks for stopping by, even through my lack of posting... i appreciate it!

Keep on beginning....

2009-03-22T17:17:00.001-07:00

i really need to read that today. it has been a frustrating last few weeks. i started the bootcamp workout and loved it. i had SORE MUSCLES and as someone who used to run track and play basketball back "in the day" it was a wonderful feeling. SO MUCH better than the sore joints that i have been dealing with over the last 10 years. i was elated to "hurt" the "right way"... just ask my husband... i gushed on and on about it. i felt like i had come SO FAR! Well, less than one week later i got my period. The night before i had cramps all night... hubby said i moaned and groaned in my sleep. (no pain meds due to my rebellious stomach) once the cramps were over after the first couple of days, my back has been achy and sore since... went to the dr. for my stomach and asked her about my cramps/back... "well, you're not too far from menopause, so you don't have too many more years to deal with it" i am so mad. i have had this problem forever. when i was in my twenties i heard "oh, after you have babies you won't have this problem anymore." then i had babies and heard "oh, get more exercise and sleep" then my babies grew up and i heard "oh, you're tired and stressed" now i hear "you only have to put up with it for 5 or 10 more years...." BS! and you know what really torques me off... my daughter has the same problem and has given up running due to the pain and is getting the same "blow off" treatment that i got 40 some years ago. (deep breath) so there it is... now what do it do?...

keep on exercising as best i can... probably no more bootcamp workout :( until my back settles down again
wear my sacral belt all the time until it settles down
start digging on the internet... i owe it to my daughter!
and keep on beginning...

Taking Chances...

2009-03-02T09:19:00.001-08:00

thanks to "Taking Chances" i found out about sparkpeople.com's 7 day bootcamp workout. i was in need of a little new material for the workout scene. i tried it and had so much fun that i did four of the little buggers! i guess i really was ready for a change of scenery! it's been a little hairy around my house. i have been struggling with a serious lack of sleep. for about a week my teenage son has been needing step by step instructions for getting into bed and getting the lights turned out. (he is, after all, an honor student... insert frustrated scream here!) it seems to be an hour long process (aka: nag fest) and he starts about the time my body is done for the day. my stomach has been bothering me, so it's heartburn meds every night before i go to sleep or i wake in the night miserable. my husband, i love him dearly, has been snoring so that would wake me many times during the night. lastly, the dog started waking up at 5.30am and barking every morning. i was really beginning to feel like my houseplants were the only ones in the house that liked me! i am happy to report i figured out the furnace kicking on was waking the dog... changed that in a hurry... and hubby snores much less if he tucks his chin when he sleeps...good posture is good for marriages :)... So... i'm two for four. MUCH BETTER. i'm whittling away at my sleep debt and able to function a little better during the day. i'm calling the doctor... again... about my stomach. hopefully, that will be three for four. if anyone has a great idea for getting a teenager to bed and to sleep...please let me know... better yet... this being the third teenager this mom has experienced...WRITE A BOOK! you will make millions and be held in highest esteem by grateful parents all over the world. as a matter of fact, after writing a book like that, one could die in peace knowing they had made a lasting contribution toward world harmony! :) any budding authors out there brimming with parental wisdom????

Why am i doing this???

2009-02-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

Seems to me i recall a post about this sometime ago from one of you. a post listing the reasons why this health/weight loss journey is important. i think today is a good day to get in touch with my reasons for doing this. it's a good day for reflection.

*i want to play with my grand kids someday. (don't have any yet, but from what i've observed, they are a blast!) i want to give them horseback rides and take them hiking and camping and hold them and lift them up to the water fountain and let them ride on my shoulders and take them cross country skiing and garden with them and all those other things i did with my kids that made such great memories.

*i want to play... in my garden, on hiking trails, in kayaks, on cross country ski trails, in the back yard, on vacations, on the dance floor ...and not have my back hurt afterward.

*i love being able to reach over and tie my shoes without my stomach getting in the way. that was a real drag... to have my stomach all crunched up and uncomfortable when i tied my shoes.

*i love having my chest stick out farther than my stomach. it is so good to have a figure again. it's not all that it was or will be, but it is nice to look in the mirror and see a more shapely shaped me!

*i love buying size 10 jeans. it was a real drag jamming myself into size 14's because i refused to buy size 16's (although i really should have). it is nice to buy mediums instead of larges in everything.

*i love it when my husband snuggles with me and tells me "you're getting skinny..."

*i am so thankful for being able to walk across a lawn without my back hurting. for counting the days when my back is bothering me (because they are the exception) instead of counting the days when it doesn't hurt (because they are the exception now).

in writing this i realize i have really gained more than i have lost. i have gained/regained activities that i enjoy. i have gained a future to look forward to. i have gained a smile on my face when i think about my body instead of a shameful glance downward. i have gained so much that i don't want to lose again.

So how about you? what have you gained on this journey that you don't want to lose?

Keep looking.....

2009-02-20T07:43:00.001-08:00

Hi all. didn't post earlier this week or check in. we had a long weekend. went out of town Saturday thru Monday and then hubby had Tuesday off when our kiddo was back at school. it was a wonderful break and i had decided before hand that it would be a break from my food log as well. the scale reflected eating out all those days, but yesterday i was back to logging my food and exercise. i didn't exercise today, as i went to bed with a headache and woke up with the same one. i haven't been sleeping well. let's just say that parenting teenage boys is not for the weak of heart. what really is the kicker for me is when i can't sleep trying to think of ways to get the point across, sit down to talk with him about what is going on, ask what he thinks... if he has been thinking about this, and he looks me in the eye and says "no...". Got to find a way to turn that around! his problem...i'm doing all the thinking about it....what's wrong with that picture?!?!? the good news is that so far i'm not doing a lot of emotional eating or eating because i'm tired, and those issues are common struggles for me. hey, maybe this is just God's way of giving me a little practice to control the nutrition part of my health??? Keep looking for that silver lining, dear, keep looking.....

Back in the groove!

2009-02-11T07:58:00.000-08:00

well, i am proud of the progress i have been making. i have kept track of all my food for the weekdays except one. that is pretty remarkable for me. tonite i go to the second meeting. i missed the one last week as it was a tour of the grocery store and was going to last 1 1/2 hours instead of the usual one hour meeting. i can tell it will be good to get to a meeting tonite. the beginning of this week has been tough. i am having trouble sleeping which usually translates into eating too much. my body interprets the lack of energy as a lack of fuel, not a lack of sleep. i also had morning appointments that last two mornings, so missed my exercise time as well. this morning, as soon as i am done here, i will be on the treadmill. my hubby bought me a fun little something for an early Valentine's Day present. i looked in the mirror and liked what i saw... the curves were more in the right places than they have been for quite some time. probably helping to shrink my too big tummy is the fact that i've started to make friends with the hula-hoop hubby made for me. good core work! well, i'm off to check in with "healthy you" and stop by to visit a few folks. have a great week! :)

Hello 2009! & Thanks, Anne!

2009-02-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

Hello! it's a new year and i am back to try again. i enrolled in a healthy eating/weight loss class that our local grocery store is sponsoring. i am in the middle of week #1. it lasts for 8 weeks, so i am hoping it will be a help to push me over the top of the hill i have been trying to get over for the last 6 months or more. we need to show our food log for class, so that is a motivator for me. we also need to list goals for the week in food (3 meals/day with one afternoon snack), fitness (treadmill for 40 minutes 4 times per week) and behavior (food log for 5 days/week and get back on the "healthy you" blog 1 time/week). the accountability is so good for me. [it costs some money too and if i go to all the classes and reach my weight goal i get 20% back... i'm cheap so that is another insentive! :) ] i have missed all of you and hope your journeys have been good in the time i have been away. i am looking forward to touching base with you. it was really hard to keep blogging when i was not making any progress and into such spits and spurts. i found this quote from Anne Sullivan that i thought most appropriate. i think it needs a permanent place on this blog!
Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start over again, and you will grow stronger, until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.

i did it!

2008-11-03T08:54:00.000-08:00

i logged all my food intake for one whole work week. THE WHOLE FIVE DAYS! now that might not sound like much of something to some of you out there, but i'm telling you... for me...it's BIG! and the average of all the calories for those 5 days was were i wanted it to be also. that even included an all-you-can-eat fried chicken dinner fund-raiser supper at my son's school. so... that is my good news for the week! :) oh, it feels SO GOOD to commit to something and then DO IT, really do it. So many times i let myself down by not following thru on my good intentions. i don't know why, but this feels about like i did when i bought my first size 10 jeans since i was in college... (back when the dinosaurs were babies!) Thanks for letting me celebrate... and for celebrating with me! i really want to do it again!

Starting over...again....

2008-10-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for second and third and fourth chances. i've been inspired to get after the loosing weight thing again instead of just maintaining where i am. so.... it's back to the food log and back on the treadmill for me. for me, the treadmill is easier than the food log, but to get the results i want i need both.
the inspiration.... another bout with heartburn that's lasted 3 or 4 days. i get kind of lax and my body just rebels. so.... if loosing more weight can keep me from having to take more meds, then that is a worthy goal.
oh, the scale says "162".
i'll try to stop by to visit with you all later. i need to get busy in the kitchen. i'm planning on putting together some "Halloween treat" packages for my two college age kids.... a few cookies and muffins and homemade rolls. none for me, thank you, my tongue would be happy, but my stomach would be nasty about the whole thing. [wonder if after all these years my stomach and my waistline have ganged up to take on that spoiled brat-"I want it NOW" - tongue of mine! :)] Stay tuned!

The "problem" that isn't!

2008-10-07T09:35:00.001-07:00

Hope everyone had a great week. yesterday was a whirl of dry-wallers, stainers, and electricians in and out of the house all day. they got lots done... yea!... and now i need to get to work priming and painting. i'm trying to get all the "have-to's" (meal planning, bills, mail, laundry) out of the way today so the rest of the week i can make some tracks. (So that's why i'm blogging?!?!?) it rained a lot last night so working outside is out of the question for a day or two so my attention shouldn't be divided that way.
i stopped by a few friends last night. am planning on visiting a few more today. one post really got me to thinking. it was about listening to our bodies to know when we are hungry and when we aren't. where did i get the thought that it was a bad thing to have my stomach growl? why don't i interpret that as what it is.... my body talking to me? why is it a "oh, no, my stomach is growling." instead of a "thanks for the information." or better yet... "wow, my body is burning more calories than what i took in. i'm burning fat. YES!" Why do i think i need to immediately "fix it" when i get hungry? i obviously am not going to blow away or faint. wonder if i could learn to appreciate a little hunger and a growling stomach as signs of success in this journey instead of a problem that needs fixing? What about you???

Yikes...

2008-09-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

it's been awhile. i did do more exercise than is on the calendar but just didn't get it on there. the last few weeks have been heavy duty remodeling. today and yesterday and tomorrow involve the entryway, kitchen, and dining area. we have a very open house plan so it really involves pretty much the whole upstairs of our house. crazy.... but it is turning out very beautiful! and i think it will be easier to care for as well and i really like that. maybe i'll do some pictures, but right now all the furniture and things of the whole upstairs are kind of piled into a pile in the middle of the living room and a pile in the middle of the den.
oh.... weight wise.... i'm at 161. it's been hard to stay on track with all the craziness, so i'm satisfied. a bit at a time!

It's a Brand New Week

2008-09-09T11:26:00.001-07:00

and the scale says #162. i'm ok with that. i've been exercising so that is good. the last few days have been really weird. i wake up in the middle of the night with heartburn so bad i feel nauseous. it has got its up side... i didn't touch the movie popcorn on Saturday night and the dark chocolate that my husband bought yesterday doesn't even sound good (that is SO NOT ME!) and i have been eating much smaller portions. (that's why i'm not worried about the 162) last night was the first night i haven't had to get up in the middle of the night to sleep in my recliner to keep my stomach contents where they're supposed to be. could this have something to do with perimenopausal hormones??? it's the only thing i can think of......

the rest of my life.... started spanish class. think i'm going to enjoy the professor a lot. the new siding on the house looks great. they are moving right along. [Some of my plants took some serious hits from ladders and feet. :( i guess you can't expect them to be watching out for a baby rose when they are balancing 12 foot long pieces of siding on 15 foot ladders and such. i hope my little guys bounce back.] on thursday they will put in the new door to the new deck. the new cement for the patio is poured and stamped. so far the colors all look really nice together. That's the update. i'm off to visit all of you....

Just checkin' in....with a new best friend!

2008-09-02T09:40:00.003-07:00

the scale says 162#. i've been doing very well with the exercise routine. this weekend was kind of sketchy. our daughter came home with 3 college friends. our town has a big music fest this weekend so between that and the company it was fun and busy. besides exercising more or less consistently, i also registered for another spanish class that will begin on wednesday night. it's a 3 credit course. i'm looking forward to the outside structure to keep me studying and learning. i purposely picked the school to take spanish from because the class schedule fit around my exercise schedule. i guess that means the treadmill and i are best friends!

what else is new...all three kids are back into the school routine, which helps me have a routine as well. we are at the beginning of a major remodeling project.... new siding, new windows, and a new, bigger deck with a new, bigger patio underneath it. it is all going well so far, but there are decisions to be made... colors, measurements, outlets, and such....that will be basically permanent. some women love to do the remodel thing. i'm just not one of them. luckily i have a couple of friends who JUST LOVE to pick colors, carpet, tile, etc. their enthusiasm rubs off on me. how about you??? when it comes to remodeling are you.... "Let's Go!" or "Oh, No!"

i'm off to visit my blog friends... thanks for stopping by!

Voids...

2008-08-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

stopped by http://blog.scalejunkie.com/ and read the post on resilience and it got me to thinking about voids in my life. wonder if voids are really like the margins on a paper or maybe the rests in a piece of music. without the margins the paper would be hard to read and music withouts rests would just loose all that potential that comes with those suspenseful rests right before that final chord that sends shivers up your spine. why is it that i fight against the voids in my life? why is it that i think it should always be all filled up to the top with good things...isn't it the air that makes ice cream more than just a frozen chunk of cream and sugar? isn't it the air that makes a loaf of bread delicious instead of just a brick of flour and water? (My sister made "bread" that even her chickens wouldn't eat! ) wonder what would happen if i tried to embrace the voids in my life? wonder what would happen if i looked at them in a new light? wonder if i could learn to sit with a void and wait patiently until the final chord comes sending shivers up my spine? wonder if i could begin to see them as part of the music instead of rushing to fill them up right away with whatever is at hand (food???) and messing up the song?

Time to check in...

2008-08-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

the scale says 163# and i'm doing better at getting the exercise in. as a matter of fact i had planned to blog on tuesday nite after supper when my son suggested we (he, my hubby, & i) go for a bike ride after supper. so instead of visiting with all of you, i headed out for a 20 mile bike ride. i didn't think you'd mind... as a matter of fact i'm pretty sure i heard a few of you cheering my choice! :)
time to make blog visits!
hope you all have had a great week!
hey, does anyone out there know how to add one of those things that counts how many visits you've had to your blog?

Getting back on track...

2008-08-05T11:50:00.001-07:00

it's Tuesday. i weighed myself. (164#) there are growing numbers of yellow squares on my calendar. i'm getting back on track. it feels SO GOOD! i was really afraid that all the work i'd done so far would just fritter away. life has been going at such a rapid pace. last weekend i was at my 30th high school class reunion and helped my mom clean out the rest of my childhood home and she signed the papers to sell the house. last tuesday was rather emotional when we dropped off the keys to the people who bought it. it was hard to see my mom so sad. she and my dad built the house... literally every nail and every board... every tile and every coat of paint... about 50 years ago and she had lived in it ever since. WOW, what a summer it has been... so many changes... all good... but they just kept coming fast one after another.
but since i came home, i've been gradually getting back into the exercise routine. my son connected up the Wii Fit my husband got for me for Mother's Day. i've enjoyed it more than i thought i would. it's got a lot of balance things on it, which i think will be very beneficial for my back issues. next up is to get the eating more disciplined, but first i want to get in the habit of exercising 5 days per week again. So... August = exercise consistently. keep checkin' out those sunshine yellow square ladies... i'm off to stop by and say "hi" to all of you. thanks for your patience with my sporadic posting over this crazy summer and....let the sun shine! :)

Why...

2008-07-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

are bad habits so easy to fall back into and good habits so hard to establish? i got on the scale this am and it said 164#. Yuk! it's been really hard getting back into the grove after being gone. i'm not exercising, my back hurts, i'm not recording my food intake, my joints hurt.... i love having all three kids home, but my sleep schedule with 2 college age kids in the house is crazy. it seems like there are people coming and going at all hours of the day and night. why can i sleep when i don't know where they are when they are at college, but i can't sleep soundly until they come in when they are at home? ACK!
So... God to the rescue. during my prayer time this morning i was reading St Bernard's reflection on how God's yoke is easy and His burden is light and how heavily we burden ourselves when we become the slaves of our own will instead of listening to God. i have been going like crazy...trying to get caught up from being gone so much this summer...the extra work of having all of us at home again now... my agenda (my will) for the day is always full by the night before. as i prayed about it i began to see that God's agenda for me today was something along the lines of..."Take care of yourself. how can you expect to be of help to Me when you aren't eating right, aren't exercising, aren't getting enough sleep? Take care of yourself." [Felt like i was getting one of the lectures i give my kids. :) ]
if there's one thing that really gets my goat as a parent it's when i tell my kids to do something and they agree that it's a good thing for them to do and then they don't do it. i imagine God's the same way... so i figured i would try to be a kid that wasn't driving God nuts. i hopped on the bike (my back likes that better than walking) and rode for about an hour. it felt good.

I'm Back... again....

2008-07-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been wild. i spent 10 days in Guatemala on a mission trip with my sister-in-law. after that i was home for 48 hours and then left for my mom's auction sale to sell all the things out of the home that she and dad lived in for 47 years. LOTS OF STUFF! i was really worried about how my mom would do with it all. she handled it with class and so did my siblings. (did i mention i appreciate my family?!?! Thanks, God!!!) after hubby and kids joined me at my mom's sale we left for Denver to pick up our oldest who was returning from about 10 months in bolivia. spent a couple of day in estes park, co. not near long enough. it is beautiful. then proceeded to a family reunion on hubby's side. so... after 10 days in guatemala and 2 days at home to repack and be "mom" and 10 days of travel and family reunion i'm ready to get back to the business of paying closer attention to my health and spend some time on my gardens and the home fires. i haven't kept track of anything. there was not a scale in sight. there was TONS of REALLY GOOD food at the reunion. so... as of this morning i am at 162#. that is up from what i was, but not too much. i'm really not discouraged, just ready to get after it again! looking forward to reading a few blogs and catching up on how you all are doing!

Hi Ladies...

2008-06-08T12:51:00.001-07:00

it's been awhile... i'm up to 161 pounds and i have been eating like crazy even when i'm not really hungry. My clothes still fit, so that is a good thing. i would be too sad to go back up a size after actually being able to buy size 10 shorts and capris for the summer. That was so fun and so rewarding. i just don't understand what the mind game is that i'm fighting here. What is so magic about 160 pounds?!?! i leave for a 10 day mission trip to Guatemala on Saturday. i'm going to follow my eating plan until then. Three meals a day with one afternoon snack. this can happen! this is do-able! i am worth it! my health is worth far more than hand full after hand full of chips and desserts X2 after being full from supper. i am worth it! if you're so inclined, i'd appreciate a prayer or two... thanks!

Check out the new exercise calendar...

2008-05-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Manuela i got the calendar thing figured out. if you want to see what exercise i did on a "yellow - cheers for me - day" just click on the day and a box will come up with what i did that day. Yipeee! i feel so..... savvy..... :)

Who hit the fast forward button???

2008-05-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

It's the end of the school year here, so everything is going at full tilt. not much computer time and even less blog time. i am at 158#, but feeling pretty good about it as my hormones are dancing and i've been biking and walking/jogging on the treadmill on a routine basis.... muscle weighs more than fat! :) Went on a 20 mile bike ride with hubby tonite and a 6 or 7 mile ride with my daughter earlier in the day. Am going try to add an calendar to record the days i exercise to my blog. i'm hoping i will be able to show which i did... bike or use the treadmill. i will probably be doing mostly biking as in less than a month i'm down to ride for two days with hubby in a week long biking event in our state.

OH! i just realized... only 4 more days to go and i qualify for a mystery date with hubby... at 160 or less for a month. Oh yeah!!!

SOMETHING...

2008-05-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

WONDERFUL WILL HAPPEN!

http://tippytoediet.com May 5, 2008

thanks cammy!

I've Given Up...

2008-05-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

praying to God for patience. Every time i do, He gives me more opportunities to practice being patient. :) Well, as near as i can figure, i must have asked Him to help me figure out a way to deal with stress other than eating. Why? Because, the stressors keep coming and i keep struggling with how to deal with them other than eating. i'm experimenting and practicing. there's been lots of trial and error. A few successes... a lot of mistakes. I'm amazed that i dropped a pound. i'm now at 157#. i just need to get through the rest of the month without climbing back over 160. Is it ok if i rant??? Thanks! Don't mind if i do...

Huge difficulties in our church due to poor administrative decisions. i am on the parish council, so to a lot of people, it looks like i'm in agreement with the decisions. Couldn't be farther from the truth. i hate taking it on the chin for other people's mistakes, especially after you tell them it's a mistake. It's like when your kid sneaks a bunch of Halloween candy after you tell them they've had enough. They end up getting sick and you end up cleaning it up. Only these are grown-ups and i'm not their mom!
The political situation in Bolivia is touchy. One of the "states"... the largest, richest one...voted for autonomy recently. The president says the election was illegal. There has not been any violence, but 3 more "states" will vote on the same thing the beginning of June and my son doesn't return to the US until the beginning of July.

ok... i'm done.....

Thanks to all of you who gave me suggestions last time. i've used them all. If you have any other ideas, i'm sure open to putting anything that works... and is healthy... into my bag of tricks. you all are the best!

I Need to Stop...

2008-04-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

shooting myself in the foot. I now weigh 158#. it was a long week with way too much emotional eating that was out of control...

My mother is hopefully going to be selling my childhood home and having an auction to sell her things there and permanently move to the city i live in. Stress, stress, stress. We tried this last summer and finally i said i would not participate in it any longer due to my mom's stress that was spilling out all over my siblings and myself and my niece's wedding. My siblings seconded the motion and the whole project was put on hold last summer. Of course we asked her to set a date for this summer and plan the sale over the winter. That didn't happen, so now it is "emergency mode" again in trying to fit one more thing into a full summer instead of planning the summer around the sale like we had asked. i'm game to help out and give it a whirl, but if we end up at "same song second verse" of last summer i'm not going to be part of the choir singing the third verse! Of course through all of this i ate and ate and ate. i even remember thinking at one point, "You know, mom doesn't even care about this a bit. This chocolate isn't changing her life at all and i'm going to have heart burn and tight pants over it." But i ate it anyway.... growl!
Had a colonoscopy yesterday. it turned out fine. Always a little stressful for me. Both my Dad and my Grandpa on my Dad's side died of colon cancer.
The pastor of our church blindsided me by inviting someone to join a task force our parish council is setting up that is inappropriate to be on the task force because of a conflict of interest. Of course he didn't let me know she would be coming to the meeting. i found out when she walked in the door. Argh!
Been worried about my son in Bolivia. When i was there, he said some really illogical things. Don't know if he's used to living in a culture where men can throw their weight around with few consequences or if there is something else emotionally going on.
Have been grieving the death of a little boy i met when i was in Bolivia in '02. He had epilepsy and was blind. He died four years ago because they couldn't get his seizures under control. i saw his grave when i was there, had dinner with his parents, and met his 4 year old little sister. i can't help but think that Luis would be alive and playing with Kate if he had lived in the United States. The injustice makes me cry and seeing his little grave made it, oh, so very real.
So... last week i threw all kinds of things down my throat with no consideration for the rest of my body. My stress didn't decrease at all after the eating/bingeing. I think i need a different coping mechanism that is at least a little helpful. Craziness!
The good news is that i didn't shoot up past the 160 mark again and that i did exercise last week and that yesterday i had three meals and a planned afternoon snack and i spent 30 minutes on the treadmill this morning.

Thanks for listening to the rant. i think i'm done now and ready to move forward. The issues will be ongoing... parish council meeting tonite... so i will have plenty of practice/opportunity to come up with a different coping mechanism. Any good ideas?????

I'm back....

2008-04-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

from Bolivia. I didn't mean to, but i really made progress when i was gone. The scale now says 156. The altitude messed with my desire to eat. When blood is going to your stomach to digest food, it isn't going to your head... that = headaches for me when i'm in extreme altitude. Then, when we got to lower altitudes, my stomach was all weird from not eating. Put that on top of trying... i did say trying.... to keep up with my 21 year old son who has been backpacking in Bolivia for several months with a 45# backpack strapped to him, and i guess it's no mystery why the pounds melted. i went for an hour long walk yesterday to try to keep up the exercise. i've not been careful about foods yet... just got back on Saturday... but today i begin to log foods as well. Don't want to sabotage this gain in health! Besides.... i'm in range for a mystery date with my hubby! Fun!!! Also can fit into 31X30 pants. Yea!!!! down another size!
Just went to check in at Tales from the Scales and found out that while i was gone they decided to shut down the blog. After reading i completely understand... life is about 1st things 1st... but am sad to see it gone. i really appreciated that source of support. i'm joining the Healthy You Challenge. i see some familiar names have joined. i hope to find more.

Kites and strings...

2008-03-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

I found this in the intro to the book of James in my Bible. it really got me to thinking about kites and strings...

Have you ever noticed how a kite strains at the string as it soars in the sky? It seems to want to be free of the string that ties it down, free to fly on its own. But if that string does break, the kite flounders and crashes. The kite only has the freedom to fly as long as it's tied to something. That's the way we are under the New Covenant in Christ. We may think we're free to do whatever we want. But if we break from a faithful response to God's love for us, we flounder and crash. (New American Bible - St Mary's Press)

Of course this is talking about our spiritual life, but God knows we have bodies..He gave them to us... so i think he gives us strings to keep us from crashing there as well. Often i tug against the strings wanting to be free of them... keeping track of my food intake on fit day / exercising / prayer and journaling for emotional health. i find myself thinking... when i get to the weight i want to be i won't need to hassle with those things. How crazy! Those are the strings that are allowing me to fly. i should be thinking of ways to protect them instead of planning for a day to snip them. So... what are the strings in your life? What keeps you grounded so you can fly? How do you treat the strings in your life... do you protect them... or plan to snip them???

Rewards...

2008-02-27T14:06:00.001-08:00

It's a new week... a new weigh-in. i'm still at 162, but that's ok because of where i'm at in the whole hormone dance. i read a post a while ago about rewarding yourself for losing weight. i always think of food as a reward...i love to go out for dinner or dessert... but that kind of defeats the purpose. Also, it might be a good idea for my long term health for me to let go of that as a reward. i like to have new things... clothes, books... but i'm not a shopper and sometimes feel i spend more time with the stuff in my life than the people in my life already. So... new things or a shopping trip aren't really rewards for me. I'll buy some new clothes anyway when i get down another size. What i really love is "experiences"... doing things with the people i love... making good memories... So, i asked my husband, who keeps saying how proud of me he is, to help me out in the reward area. Oh heavens.... i just realized how that might sound. No, this is not x-rated! I'm talking mystery date here folks! I love doing fun things, but i'm almost always the one who plans them. i would be the social director of the family and certainly of us as a couple. So, hubby and i agreed that when i hit 160 and am there for a month, he will plan a mystery date for the two of us. I am so excited. it really has been a motivator for me. stay tuned... i'll tell you all about it. onward and downward!

Hi again...

2008-02-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile. I weighed myself this morning and am down to 162. Wow... so much has been happening it's hard to think about getting it all down. It seems that when a lot is going on i don't have the time to get it written down. So maybe i'll give the hi-lights here and fill in the details with some other posts later.
#1. I've learned quite a bit about this whole journey from kites and kite strings of all things! More later....
#2. I'm going to see my son in Bolivia for 3 weeks in April.... Big motivation to be in the best shape i can be in. i will land in El Alto in the Andes Mountains. It's the highest airport in the world and i have a history of getting altitude sickness. So... big motivation to give this old body all the advantages i can.
#3. I've discovered a way to work out on the treadmill with minimal back pain. i've been wearing a sacral belt and it makes a huge difference for me. Woot!

1/16/08

2008-01-16T11:21:00.000-08:00

Weighed this am... 163#.
1/16/08 - it wasn't necessarily pretty but i entered in everything i ate today in my fit-day. good for me! did three meals with one snack, also. kudos!
1/17 - Did ab exercises & rode bike. :) entered everything into fit-day...3 meals and 1 snack. Even kept my calories at the correct level. I did it! Yipee! Thanks for the encouragement!
1/18 - Ab exercises & bike...my right foot is falling asleep when i bike. PLEASE don't let this way of exercising get yanked out from under me also!

Getting back on track....

2008-01-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

Getting back on track and it feels good. i rode bike for 1/2 hour this am and did much better with avoiding sweets yesterday. i need to get back to logging my food on my fitday.com site. i recorded my weight on it this am and realized i don't fit under the "obese" catagory anymore. as a matter of fact i am in the middle of the "overweight" catagory and that is a better place to be... not the best place, mind you, but a better place! :) It should be easier to log food now that my computer is behaving again. i swear, sometimes computers are just like men.... can't live with them and can't live without them! :) So... the scale reads 164# today. i have decided to try the weekly weigh-ins with talesfromthescales instead of monthly ones to see if that is more helpful for me. i will just need to keep in mind the hormone dance, bacause i can vary 3-4 pounds from one day to the next. In the past that has been discouraging to me, so will have to watch the attitude...

It's 2008!

2008-01-05T12:15:00.000-08:00

And boy do i need a new beginning.... i got on the scale and it still says 165. so... it's time to get back to work. honestly, the damage isn't as bad as i thought it would be, but i also am not as far as i could've been had i kept up with the changes in habit that i started. So.... it's a good day to recommit!

STAY THE COURSE!!!

2007-12-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

Got on the scale this morning and it read 165. Yuk! i am disappointed. But, it's motivation to get going again. i told myself that i would just try to maintain over Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. Now, i realize that was a cop-out and an excuse to go back to bad habits. so.... onward and forward to better health. i so blew it with toffee and peanut brittle and cookies for our church bake sale. but, i have been excercising on the bike trainer that J got me for Christmas. i still can wear my wedding ring and i also am wearing a 32x30 jeans for the last week or so. My back isn't feeling any better, but i'm headed in the right direction. i just needed to give myself this pep talk. i hope it's helpful for anyone else reading it too.

Woot! Woot!

2007-11-29T06:27:00.000-08:00

For the last two days i have worn a size 32X30 jeans. i didn't even feel miserable in them all day... was quite comfortable as a matter of fact. i was tucking in everything with my old jeans or else i had to keep tugging them up. :) Also, i wore my wedding ring for the last two days. That was sweet! one of the "places to go" - ACCOMPLISHED! i honestly never thought i would get to that one so soon. so.... yeah for me! yeah for us! and a "thank you!" for the "want to" and the "reminders" lest i foolishly think i'm really doing this on my own!

Week 5

2007-11-26T17:31:00.000-08:00

Weight on 11/25/07 - 164#

Wow! it's week 5! i think the fast forward button of my life got stuck in the "on" position there for awhile. i was doing pretty good until Thanksgiving rolled around. i had decided before hand to just enjoy the family and feasting of the season and not watch every morsel. That worked fine except now i am having a hard time getting back into old... or rather new... habits! Ick! i hate it when i don't keep promises to myself. i know part of it is i got overly tired with all the fun. i need to make a real effort to catch up on my sleep because my body has a habit of confusing the need for sleep with the need for food.
On the up side, i now weigh less than my driver's license says i weigh. i don't know if that has ever happened before!
Also, right before Thanksgiving we had a great Bible study on 2 Kings 5 where God uses Elisha to heal Naaman of leprosy. There were several parts that really struck me. but the part i wanted to share with all of you was where Naaman almost missed the gift of healing because he was insulted that God would ask him to do something so simple in order to be healed. it was only after his servants came up to him and said "if the prophet had told you to do something extraordinary, would you not have done it?" Then Naaman decides to follow the simple directions and is healed. this whole health thing is not that complicated. it really is a series of very simple things God asks us to do to take care of and heal our bodies. i have been working at giving my body the fuel it needs, but the exercise part has been frustrating for me due to my back pain that seems to have no rhyme or reason. But there are simple things i can do that i haven't chosen to do in the past. so... i will... and have been... simply doing 2 sets of 10 reps of three different abdominal exercises.

Week #3

2007-11-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

Weight on 11/1/07 - 166#

So, here i am at the beginning of week #3. i did well last week (thank You!) with the three meals a day and one planned snack. i had a harder time with the no eating after 7pm. it just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of my life, so i think i'm going to bag that idea. i also have been bike riding a few times. that's something i really enjoy. i also bought a pair of jeans that are a waist size smaller than what i'm currently wearing. i was able to get them on. VERY EXCITING for me. i could wear them. i just don't know how comfortable i would be for the whole day in them.... but i could get them on.... did i already say that?!?!? i so want to sneak a peek at the scale, but that usually doesn't work so well for me. i'll wait until the end of the month. i also feel like i should be doing something more, but i know it's better to turn this new behavior into a habit first. one thing at a time. i stopped by tales from the scales and read Thea's Thursdays. yep! that's me... lifestyle change... not a diet. Diets have a quit date... i'm in it for life!

Week #1

2007-10-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

- 3 meals a day M,T,W,Th

- 1 snack in the afternoon M,T,W,Th

- finish all eating before 7 pm M,T we had friends over for supper and ate late,W,Th we went out to eat late

- weigh myself once a month - 11/1/07 166#

- say "thanks!" for the reminders M,T resisted chocolate and microwave popcorn...yes!... thanks!,W no Halloween candy... not one little bit...thanks again!, Th

- enjoy "Spontaneous Sundays"

Listening....

2007-10-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

i had an interesting insight last night. i was reviewing how things have gone the last few days. i haven't done that well. Friday i snacked while taking my son to swim practice. Saturday i ended up eating a brownie at his piano recital and then a third piece of pizza and then cookies. You get the picture...all my broken promises were complete with rationalizations made at the moment the food was going into my mouth. (not the best time to make a objective decision!) i was talking with God about it, asking for His help. i then i listened. He showed me that he had been giving me help. i just hadn't been accepting it. Every time....every time....i broke my promises to myself He pricked my conscience. i just ignored them. As a mom have you ever had those discussions with your kids about responsibility. Say they keep forgetting to walk the dog and during the discussion they ask you for help in remembering to do it. So, you think, sometimes it is difficult to start a new habit, so "yeah, i can help with that." So the next day when they get home from school you remind them to walk the dog and they respond they will as soon as they finish their snack. Snack is done. "you need to walk the dog." "yep, as soon as i'm done with my homework." Homework done. "you need to walk the dog." "yep, as soon as i get off the phone." Phone call done. "you need to walk the dog." "yep, as soon as my show is over" What happened to "thanks for reminding me mom. i really appreciate the reminder as i'm developing this new habit. i'm going to do it right now so i don't forget."??? Well, i imagine that's what God's been thinking for the last couple of days. as my kids would say...."my bad!" So, i apologized and will add to my list responding appropriately to reminders... "thanks for the reminder, God. i needed that to establish this new habit!"
Oh, as an aside. i have decided to let Sunday be a "free day". We'll see how it goes and if i can handle it. And no... i did not make that decision with a piece of food inches from my lips! :)

i'm jumping!

2007-10-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

My son's swimming team buddy was over on Wednesday. On the back of his swimming shirt was one of those motivational saying.... "What dream would you dream if you knew you could not fail." Well, i guess the dream i would dream would be to have my health back... to be able to go backpacking and hiking without having to "pay" for my fun with days of pain afterward... to ride a "regular" bike instead of a recumbent...to not wonder if i will be able to fully participate in the mission trip to Guatemala i plan to go on in June...to wake up in the morning after doing something physical with muscle aches that mean you had a great work out instead of joint aches that get worse instead of better with more work outs... to not have developed potential stomach problems to due taking pain relievers. That's the dream i would dream. So... one way to help make that happen is to loose some weight. The kicker for me is the fear that i will jump through all the hoops to loose the weight and still be left without my dream coming true. That would be a hard pill to swallow. Right now i can say, "i'd probably feel better if i lost some weight." If i loose the weight and still feel this way, then i am one step closer to the possibility that these are the cards i've been dealt. But.... i will never know unless i try. And i have bet the bank before on things i wanted but never had guarantee i would get. i worked my tail off for three years of undergrad to get into a very competitive professional program...no guarantees that i would get in. i got married - no guarantees there. Worked and prayed my tail off when our marriage was in the pit due to the previously mentioned drug mess-up and my husband's concurrent undiagnosed illness. i was pregnant and gave birth three times - certainly no guarantees of healthy kids and healthy relationships. At the times i have taken those leaps of faith with little but air underneath i have prayed a ton and took the attitude that when everything was said and done, i would be able to look in the mirror and know i had done everything i knew to do on my part to land on solid ground on the other side. So here i go ladies.... i'm jumping! i will pray like crazy and do everything i know to do on my part to land on solid ground on the other side. So what does that look like?

To start...

3 meals a day with one planned snack in the late afternoon.
Finish all eating before 7 pm. That will help with my stomach problems as well.
Weigh myself once a month. The ups and downs of weight gain and loss with my hormone dance is just way too discouraging for me. i hope my talesfromthescales.net friends will understand.

How will i know i'm there...

the numbers on the scale say 140
a jean waist size that matches my inseam
being able to wear my wedding ring again
a BMI of 23

Where i've come from...

2007-10-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

Up until about 6 or 7 years ago i could control my weight through exercise. i didn't eat really healthy all the time, but got enough exercise and my body was resilient enough (young enough) that i could "get away with it". i began having health problems about 6 or 7 years ago. Some medication mistakes by a well meaning, kind, and misinformed physician compounded them. My weight crept up with the messed up meds. Increasing back pain and increasing weight put my health in a downward spiral. Once i changed physicians it took me about 2 years to straighten out the medication mess. That part is much better, but i am left with the weight and difficulty exercising due to the back pain. The back pain has also improved and my hope is that it will continue to heal as my weight comes down.

And so i begin....

2007-10-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm starting this blog as a way to encourage myself to a healthier me. I've been battling this weight thing for a while now. One of the things i have repeatly seen in the information i have read is how important it is to have accountability and encouargement from others on the same road. So that is what i'm looking for. i don't have time... and frankly am embarrassed... to go to meetings. Guess i need to work on the "feeling secure" thing as well. Anyway, that's it for now. i've joined the challenge on talesfromthescales.net and i'm hoping to find some friends along the way to a healthier me. more later on where i've come from, where i am, and where i want to be.....